News from Neil Chethik, Author, Researcher, Lecturer, Expert on Men's Lives

How Fathers Shape Their Sons into Husbands
“Pay attention to how he treats his mother.” It's a statement women often hear when they wonder aloud how a boyfriend might behave toward them in the long run.

But, according to the VoiceMale Survey, a man's relationship with his mother does not influence his marriage as much as we may think. It is, more importantly, a man's relationship with his father that shapes him into the husband he will become.

According to the survey, which I conducted in conjunction with the University of Kentucky , men who had good relationships with their mothers were no more likely to be happy in their relationships with their wives. Men who had positive relationships with their fathers, however, were much more likely to be happily married to their wives.

Why is this so? It seems that men learn how to be husbands by watching and experiencing their fathers. If a son has a father who is loving and compassionate, the son tends to follow that lead. If a son experiences a father who is disconnected and dismissive, the son tends toward that way too.

For more information on this, see Chapter 14 of my book, VoiceMale.

Three Ways to Create Love for the Long Run
For years, I've been asking long-together couples the same question: What does it take to make a relationship last for the long run? I've recently put together a one-page answer to that question based on all those responses I've received. Click here for a free look at it. And feel free to forward it to a friend.

How Sons React to the
Death of a Father

Percentage of:

Sons who dream about their father after his death: 68
Sons who notice themselves acting like their fathers after the death: 53
Sons who spend time with photos, tools, or other mementos to help them deal with the death: 72
Sons who use alcohol or drugs to cope with the death: 12
Sons who seek professional help to deal with the death of a father: 8
Sons who are involved in the late-life care of their fathers: 56
Sons who say that being involved in the late-life care of their fathers helped them cope after the death: 93

For more statistics about the impact of a father's death, visit: ttp://neilchethik.com/fatherloss-survey.htm
The FatherLoss Survey of 306 American husbands was conducted in conjunction with the University of Kentucky Survey Research Center. Adapted from FatherLoss (Hyperion) by Neil Chethik

Neil Participating in First Telewebcast for Husbands

What do 21 st century husbands need to know to make their marriages work?

This is the focus of a webcast that I'll be co-leading – starting May 15 at 8:30 p.m. – with two other experts on marriage from the men's perspective.

From the comfort of your own home (through your computer or phone), you can join our live, interactive discussion for husbands. This is the first telewebcast of its kind. If you want more information, you can click on this link, http://www.husbandsmatter.com/Telewebcast.php or contact me directly at nchet@aol.com . I'd be glad to give you more details.

Also… I'll be speaking later this year at Rowe Center retreat in Massachusetts , in Raleigh , N.C. , and elsewhere. Click here to see details my speaking schedule. If you are a member of an organization and would like to consider me as a speaker, click here.